Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Fucked Up Crazy Clown Car Chronicles: Mitt Romney Straps "Best Friend" to Roof of Car

I guess I sometimes get tired of arguing the same issues over and over. You know, bootstraps, rugged individualist neo-liberal bullshit that exalts the interests of the few over the interests of the many. No doubt I'll return to screaming in a dream polemics in other posts.

But what is always fun fun fun for me to report on is the absolutely bizarre behavior of republicans in this country. Specifically, prominent republicans. From when Bush inappropriate tried to "massage" German Prime Minister Angela Merkel and cleaned his glasses on the shawl of a David Letterman producer during a break, to suggestions from Eric Cantor that students with crushing debt be required to start paying them back before they graduate, the clown car of crazy on the right never stops.

In this latest episode of "they appear normal but are clearly being controlled by aliens who have only a perfunctory understanding of how humans should behave," apparently, back in the '80s, on a trip to Canada from Boston, Romney thought it made sense to strap his dog's kennel to the roof of the family car during the 12-hour trip. Seriously.

Expressing proper disbelief, NYT columnist Gail Collins wrote about it in 2007 (and many times since):

Seamus, in case you missed the story, was the Romneys' Irish setter back in the early 1980s. Mitt used to drive the family from Boston to Ontario every summer for a vacation, with the dog strapped to the roof in a crate. 
As The Boston Globe reported this summer, Romney had the entire trip planned so rigidly that every gas station stop was predetermined before departure. 
Romney responded to his detractors by saying that "...they're not happy that my dog likes fresh air. He scrambled up there every time we went on trips. He got in all by himself and enjoyed it." Good old Seamus; he just loved the fresh air. Why can't you doom and gloomers see that? What's wrong with you? But don't worry. You'll enjoy "fresh air" too, when President White Bread metaphorically straps the country to the roof of his Corporations are People, Too! express once he's in the White House.

* Bonus Points: Apparently Seamus didn't like it that much:
Romney constructed a special windshield for the carrier, “to make the ride more comfortable for the dog.” The contraption apparently wasn’t much of a success, however, as Seamus soon began to suffer gastric issues from his windy perch atop the car. Romney’s oldest boy, Tagg, noticed the first sign of trouble, according to the Globe piece. “Dad!” he yelled. “Gross!” A brown liquid was dripping down the back window of the station wagon. Romney [pulled] into a service station to hose down Seamus and the car. he put the dog back in the crate and continued the drive to Ontario.  
Ahhh, good times. 

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