Tuesday, August 30, 2011

They All Vote Alike...

Rush "Butter Smell" Limbaugh
It's no real surprise that yesterday, Rush Limbaugh belched up yet another mal-digested meal of apocryphal racist bile. I mean, that's what Rush does from behind his well-dented radio perch: spew racist hate-speech that is the red meat of the right. He did the same thing three years ago, when he argued that Powell was supporting Obama simply because he's black.

The corpulent radio talk show host stated that the moderate republican Colin Powell, former Joint Chief of Staff and Secretary of State under George Bush, would probably vote for Obama again (in spite of his publicized reservations) simply because "Melanin is thicker than water, folks." See, that's the only reason one black person would ever vote for another black person, right? I mean, "those people" can't possibly support someone for their views, policies, experience, or philosophy--it could only be because they look the same.

Amelie "The Hater" Gillette
I'm trying to lower my blood pressure in response to violently stupid utterings by the likes of Limbaugh, but it's difficult. I could try to respond with a point by point refutation that addresses the absurdity of Rush's world view, but why bother? Really, prolly the best way to deal with Limbaugh is to make fun of him as much as humanly possible. Join me, won't you?

Dorothy "Vicious Circle" Parker
Amelie Gillette, the modern-day Dorothy Parker, who used to write an extremely acerbic and brilliant culture column for the (Onion-associated) AV Club called The Hater, explained back in 2010 how Rush Limbaugh wound up as a judge for the Miss America contest. I laughed out loud, when I first read it. I think you will too. Here's an excerpt:
A few months before The Miss America pageant, Rush Limbaugh put on his favorite velour track suit, slicked some Vaseline on his front teeth, and drove to the local shopping center for a nice, long, relaxing round of mall-walking. Passing the food court, the scent of Aunt Annie's Pretzels was so thick in the air it was like a stick of butter shoved in each nostril. Rush breathed deeply and thought, "This is the life: Extremely light exercise. A mall. None of those flying liberal gargoyles attacking me from all angles. Butter-smell."
Click here to read the entire piece: "How Rush Limbaugh Became a Judge at the Miss America Pageant" then click below to watch Rush "do the Limbaugh" on national TeeVee.

(NOTE: you might wanna dust off the good flatware to peck at your eyes during the video.)

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